Interested in learning more about Ibibio and Nepali wedding customs in relation to The Ceremony? Co-dramaturgs Charles Haugland and Amrita Ramanan connected with Emmanuel Sylvester (Ibibio Consultant, Boston’s Ufot Cycle) and Samjhana Gurung Shrestha (Program Lead, Nepali Class Boston) to hear about their experiences, memories, and favorite moments.

Charles Haugland (co-dramaturg): You’ve worked on all of the Ufot Family Cycle plays in Boston so far as the Ibibio language consultant. What makes working on this one unique?

Emmanuel Sylvester (Ibibio language consultant): It’s been wonderful working on each play, and everytime there’s been different touches of Ibibio culture. But in this one, the ceremony at the heart of the story lets us dive more deeply into something really integral to our culture — how we conduct weddings. We don’t show every detail, but what’s in the play is a strong representation of weddings in Ibibio traditions – and that feels especially meaningful to me.

Charles: At the beginning of the process, you gave a presentation to the cast and creative team about Ibibio wedding traditions. I was struck by how deeply involved parents and the wider family are. Tell us about how they are involved in the stages of marriage.

Emmanuel: Absolutely. An Ibibio wedding is made up of different stages: the ndidiong ufok where the families formally meet, the nkong usong where the terms of the wedding are negotiated, the uno mkpo where the bride price and gifts are exchanged, and finally the usoro ndo which is the ceremony itself. Parents play central roles at every stage as the negotiators and custodians of tradition – and above all, they must give their blessings, or the wedding is not considered complete.

Charles: How much are these traditions changing with recent generations?

Emmanuel: It depends on where you are and how connected you are to the culture. In Akwa Ibom state villages, the full process is still followed, step by step. In cities like Lagos, people often still go back home to hold weddings, but sometimes the rituals are shortened. For families who have lived abroad for a long time, parts of the tradition may fade.

Charles: What’s the general spirit of an Ibibio wedding?

Emmanuel: Pure joy. The bride’s family feels pride that their daughter is beginning a new chapter, and the groom’s family celebrates gaining a new member. Everyone is happy, and the atmosphere is filled with dancing, food, and laughter. They often begin in the morning and continue late into the night, where people keep eating, drinking, and dancing well after the formalities are over.

Charles: What is your favorite part?

Emmanuel: The food!

Charles:What else should we know?

Emmanuel: I wish you were talking to my grandma. She has been to so many Ibibio weddings, and I spoke to her when I was preparing for this play. She told me that what matters most is understanding that an Ibibio marriage is not a one-day event. It’s a journey with phases.

Amrita Ramanan (Co-Dramaturg): What are the traditional customs of a Nepali wedding?
Samjhana Gurung Shrestha (Nepali language consultant): A traditional Nepali wedding is deeply rooted in rituals and symbolism, though the details vary across communities. Some of the most common customs include:

·  Supari – a pre-wedding ritual where the groom’s family formally visits the bride’s home. Betel nuts (supari) are exchanged as a sign of acceptance and commitment between the two families. It serves almost like an official engagement, with blessings, gifts, and sometimes even the wedding date finalized during this ceremony.
·  Mehendi – though more prominent in Indian weddings, henna designs on the bride’s hands and feet have also become popular in Nepali weddings. It symbolizes joy, beauty, and auspicious beginnings.

·  Swayambar & Sindoor Potey – the bride and groom exchange garlands, symbolizing their acceptance of one another, and take their vows around the fire. The groom applies vermilion (sindoor) to the bride’s hair parting and presents her with a necklace (potey or tilhari), marking her new role as a married woman.
·  Kanya Daan – the formal giving away of the bride by her parents, often one of the most emotional and symbolic moments of the ceremony.

·  Ghar Bhitrauney – after the wedding, when the bride arrives at her new home, the groom’s family welcomes her with lamps, rice, yogurt, and blessings. She steps inside by gently tipping over a vessel filled with rice, symbolizing the prosperity and good fortune she brings into the household.

·  Reception (Bhoj) – a large feast traditionally hosted by the groom’s side, though nowadays often combined, bringing together family, friends, and community to celebrate.

Amrita: As The Ceremony takes place in our times, what have been some of the adaptations or changes from the traditional customs that you’ve experienced with modern Nepali weddings?
Samjhana: Over time, Nepali weddings have become a blend of tradition and modernity. What once lasted five or more days is now often condensed into two or three. Ceremonies that were once held in ancestral courtyards are now frequently hosted in banquet halls or hotels. Brides often choose both a red saree or lehenga for the ceremony and a modern gown for the reception. And, of course, professional décor, photographers, videographers, and DJs have become essential parts of the experience, giving weddings a contemporary flair while still honoring the essence of our cultural traditions!

Amrita: What foods are staples in a Nepali wedding?
Samjhana: The food is truly one of the highlights of a Nepali wedding. Staple dishes include dal-bhat-tarkari (rice, lentils, and vegetables) alongside a variety of meats. Popular festive foods include sel roti (a sweet, ring-shaped rice bread), grilled meat items like sekuwa and choila, and an assortment of spicy pickles and chutneys (achar). No wedding feast is complete without yogurt and a spread of sweets such as rasbari and jalebi.

Amrita: I had the opportunity to see some of your beautiful wedding photos! What memories did The Ceremony evoke for you about your wedding?
Samjhana: Looking back at those photos stirs so many vivid emotions. I remember the excitement of planning and getting ready, and the warmth of being surrounded by family and community. We have a strong Nepali community here, and I valued every tradition and custom, making sure to honor each one as best as we could. A powerful memory for me was my father’s presence. He had never been to the U.S. before and faced some visa challenges, but he made it just in time for my wedding. His presence, along with the blessings from elders on both sides, many of whom traveled from across the world, was indescribably meaningful. The Kanya Bidaai (bride’s farewell) was especially emotional, a bittersweet moment filled with tears, love, and the joy of new beginnings. I feel extremely lucky and grateful.